Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
FUCK WHALES
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