I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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