Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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