Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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