is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
