Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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