i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
