You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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