he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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