so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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