i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
