He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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