so let's talk penis.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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