Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
