so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
