Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the day after is always just damage control
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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