It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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