so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
