stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
