its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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