can we get nightvision for the apartment?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize