My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
