dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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