CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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