nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
