your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
