Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
