I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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