WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
