Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
