I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
