Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Terrible idea I love it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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