He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
