The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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