omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
