At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
