I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i dont even know how to be here
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
