to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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