I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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