Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
