the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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