It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
