this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
