I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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