No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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