dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
