oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize