Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
