Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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