hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
