I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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