He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
