This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
