took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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