i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
