I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
