Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
