I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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