yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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