Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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