Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
