You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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