it's like iHOP with fire
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
