i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
