Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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