Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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