you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
