Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
