You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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