im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize