Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She bit a glass in half.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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