Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
