Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
