I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
